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From childhood, we’re often taught to suppress our emotions – not for our own benefit, but to make others comfortable. We hear ‘Don’t cry’, ‘Calm down’, or ‘Stop being so sensitive’, which condition us to believe that feeling deeply is wrong. Over time, we start seeing our emotions as something to manage, hide, or shrink to avoid making others uncomfortable.

But emotions are not inconveniences; they are an internal compass, guiding us towards what we need and alerting us when something is wrong. They are not random – they are deeply intelligent signals from our body and mind. When we feel safe, emotions reflect peace. When something feels off, they warn us, urging us to pay attention. Yet, many of us have been taught to distrust or dismiss these signals. We learn to override our instincts in favour of what is socially acceptable, apologising for our sadness, suppressing our frustration, and silencing our discomfort. 

Emotions – A personal guidance system 

Rather than being problems to fix, emotions are messages. If a warning light came on in your car, you wouldn’t ignore it just because it might be an inconvenience – you’d recognise it as a sign that something needs attention. Emotions work the same way. They tell us important things about our needs, boundaries, and experiences. 

Joy signals align with what makes us happy. Sadness tells us we need time to process and heal. Anger may be revealed when a boundary has been crossed. Fear protects us by warning us of danger. These signals are there for us – not to be judged by others, but to help us navigate life. 

Yet, when we suppress our emotions, we disconnect from this internal guidance system. We lose trust in ourselves, constantly second-guessing our feelings and choices. By tuning into our emotions instead of dismissing them, we can make decisions that align with who we truly are, rather than living according to external expectations. 

Trusting emotional signals 

Think of emotions as a traffic light system. Green light emotions – like joy and excitement – can mean go ahead, things feel right. Yellow light emotions – like frustration or uncertainty – can mean slow down and reassess. Red light emotions – like anger or deep sadness – can mean stop and pay attention; something needs to change. 

None of these emotions are ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’; they are simply signals. When we learn to respect them instead of fearing or suppressing them, we gain clarity about ourselves and our needs. 

You don’t have to justify your emotions to anyone. They are not for performance or approval – they are for you. When we stop filtering our feelings through how others might perceive them, we begin to experience them honestly, without guilt or shame. 

So, instead of managing your emotions for the comfort of others, start listening to them for yourself. They are not obstacles to be controlled; they are powerful tools that lead you towards what is best for you. Trust them, honour them, and let them guide you.