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‘We could have handled it better – particularly with regard to older people’ is one theme that has run through any post-pandemic commentary on the official management of the Covid pandemic. That virus first entered (Southern) Ireland, where I live, in February 2020, although it was already looming in our collective consciousness, through watching media coverage of responses to outbreaks in France, Italy and other countries in Europe.

When it hit these shores, the Irish Government’s response to Covid’s arrival was immediate, and generally speaking, seen as positive and pro-active. Early on, there was one directive that specifically impacted one age group the over-70s – this included myself, and all my clients, apart from one. We were deemed high-risk and vulnerable and were named ‘cocooners’ with very clear advice (if not an actual mandate) to remain at home, and only venture out for one hour a day. (Those in nursing homes, of course, were even more restricted, and visiting them was not an option). I am only speaking of formerly socially engaged, relatively active and mobile cocooners. So how did the restrictions impact these cocooners, and how did they ‘find themselves’ – in every sense of that phrase – once those restrictions were lifted? 

For myself, living alone, the solitude and the enforced immersion into silence and inner creativity were actually enjoyable, but I found, like most of my clients, an initial reluctance about leaving my ‘cocoon’. Walking past or standing near others, they found they were acutely aware of proximity, and even though the former narrow footpaths in town had been widened during the pandemic, they still felt crowded after the very distanced spacing still indicated by now fading signage in shops and parks. Cocooners had initially been allotted specific times for shopping in some supermarkets, so when this no longer applied, shoppers massing together again felt crowded after the earlier emptier aisles. The ‘Am I safe?’ questions dissolved for me after two or three sorties into the outer world, but for some clients, and I am thinking of one particular person, going back to regular shopping was too overwhelming, and it took several months for that to become possible. Patterns that had built up for others, where shopping had been relegated to carers or friends and delivered to the door, were not so easy to relinquish – from both parties’ point of view. Hairdressers were not all open, and dentists operated a new and careful protocol, which felt different so the return to normal life after cocooning, was by baby steps. Each had to find their way through the enfolding membrane of ‘You are old. So you are vulnerable. So be very careful!’ Maybe all true, but personally, I had not joined those particular dots in reference to my sense of myself physically, mentally or emotionally, so I had not realised just how disempowering an official designation-by-age could feel. Comfortably accepting being over 70, but still happily functioning, I now found myself wondering what mysteries lurked behind the doom-laden word, ‘vulnerable’. In the end, having taken on board a basic best means of healthy living: taking my hour’s walk in nature at 6 am, eating healthily, meditating and being otherwise creative in writing in my one room and bedroom accommodation, I found that visualising a positive aura surrounding me helped hugely, when not owning a car, I resumed walking to work for my private practice.  

Phone, Zoom or Whatsapp video had become the only means of client contact during lockdown, so the choice for clients was to make use of one or another or to decide to lie low for the duration. My role with the particular group I work with was/is basically one of ongoing support in later life, and I was able to keep up regular communication with all who wished to connect via technology.  

But, just as post-pandemic reports had indicated, when it came to face-to-face returns, there was a very obvious hiatus as people faced the question of how, or if, to re-emerge into active living. A new social awareness was highlighting some negative outcomes from cocooning in terms of depression and withdrawal, and the end of the pandemic brought strong advice from the Government – encouraging cocooners to start moving again, to open their doors, embrace life, and get out-and-about socially. In practice, however, I found within my own small cohort, that several who had been locked down still felt ‘locked in’, and it took up to six months before I saw them again, face toface. I find it heartening now, that every single person has returned to face-to-face sessions, with the exception of one, an 86 year old who simply lives too far away to travel any more, but is delighted to have the new pandemic skill of Zoom. I note also, that at least eight new clients from the same age-group have made contact as a direct result of the experience of cocooning.  

So my sense is, that the return to ‘life after lockdown’ and face-to-face encounters, was incremental; usually preceded by phone calls. There was hesitancy. There was some fear, especially if someone had had Covid themselves. They decided never again! There was unease about entering a building outside the home-place. Finally, reassurance about the necessary small details – comfortable distancing, opportunity for hand-washing, hand sanitation and wearing masks. I chose to wear a clear Perspex-type face mask during sessions, to enable my whole face to be seen, while also giving my client and I the possibility of some protection from coughing etc. As everyone was wearing masks in the streets, even after the cocooning period was lifted, all my clients were wearing masks. Only two out of 15 asked if they could leave off their mask, which I agreed to. The room had a slightly widened space between the two chairs, and there was sanitising gel within reach, and at the entry and exit door. This ‘new normal’ always came up for discussion on the first meeting, and early post-lockdown sessions did have something of a new dawn, what now? theme. Given that several of this age group in a small close-knit town had lost relatives, friends, or friends-of-friends to COVID-19, grieving came into the room more often than usual, also death and dying. Also for those living alone both before and since, the experience of aloneness, even isolation, which in a previously much more accessible and sociable life, had not been addressed. However, explicitly or implicitly, I noted that underpinning most narratives was thankfulness for having come through it all right. Apart from any specific spiritual dimension, which was often the case, there was also great gratitude for the people who had somehow or other helped in that getting-through process. This was either a nurse, a doctor, home helps, parish workers, priests, pastors, carers in person, or relatives by way of technology, or any family member(s) with whom they were cocooned, if that setting had been possible, (which for most was not the case). What I observed, when illness or grieving was not in the frame, was a thoughtful balancing, a weighing up of experiences, and often a surprised discovery of resilience and creativity which had emerged during the previous 18 months. What I observed, was that it was possible for the post pandemic time to be deemed positive. 

Certainly, I felt deepened and empowered by that time, stretched, challenged and even technologically somewhat up-skilled.